Top 5 Songs Whose Absence on Rock Band is a Travesty.

Raptor here...the real one. I never really stated my personal goal for this blog. I'm not trying to simplify my life in any sort of way. If anything these lists complicate the crap out of my day. It's freaking hard to weed out the crap. And somehow it's never an easy list like the top 5 Rock Movies. No, They're always attached to stupid hypotheticals, like Top 5 songs I think my cousin would use to describe me to her friends.

I have a friend who constantly says things are the 2nd best_____ he's ever seen. Apparently after Braveheart there is a list of about 40 movies that all have been tied at #2. I can't do that. Things must be put in the correct order. To counter things like this I have made statements that weren't nearly out landish, like, "I enjoyed Roll bounce, it's probably my 153rd favorite movie" But even that bothered me. I had to sit there and list movies until I finally figured out exactly where the fuck Rollbounce was on my list. Turns out I was waaaaaaay off. It was 233 Right after "The Journey of Natty Gann" and right before "Big Daddy".

So lists are basically me trying to stay sane.

Anyways with out further ado...
Top 5 Songs Whose Absence on Rock Band is a Travesty.

5. The Anthem To Top Gun

Why it’s a crime: I know there are no vocals, but fuck that. This needs to be on there. There is no better ode to 80’s instrumental power ballad guitar solos than this little ditty.
If you don’t get at least a little excited by this song, you’re dead on the inside.
I swear by Grabthorn’s Hammer, if I ever form a band this will be the opening number. Even if I’m playing lead banjo in a Dixie band.


4. Under Pressure- Queen+David Bowie

Why it’s a crime: Let’s start with the fact Queen is one of the 5 bands I will accept arguments for the distinction of greatest rock band of all time (a list for another (Thurs?)day). There lack of representation on the original disk is one of the few flaws I’ve found in the game. And unlike some of the bands on this list, they aren’t that discriminatory about licensing their songs out.

Other things going for it include one of the most instantly recognizable Bass lines (In the words of Vanilla Ice, “Their bass line is duh duh duh dada duh duh, which is completely different from my duh duh duh dada duh duh chhh.”), A great little duet featuring the mutant vocal powers of Freddie Mercury and David Bowie, and nice little guitar hooks that really tie the room together.

3. Hush- Deep Purple

Why it’s a crime: Deep Purple is represented on the original disk unlike some other bands on this list. They are a rock icon and should be vies-a-vie represented. But “Highway Star”? Really? Over “Hush”? That’s like using the first pick in a dodge ball tourney on the fat kid to use as a human shield when Patches O’Houlihan is rearing to go. I’d listen to the argument for “Smoke on the Water,” which at the very least, is the first song anyone learns when someone picks up a guitar.



2. The Immigrant Song- Led Zeplin

Why it’s a crime: There simply isn’t a more ass kicking song. Period. You’ve got primal scream. You’ve got Norse God’s. You’ve got fire. You’ve got demon voices telling you about fields of gore. I’ve got a boner.

Unfortunately, Zep refuses to license there songs to anyone. They’re dicks like that. A real thorn in the side of my me-centric universe. Not unlike…


1. Come Together- The Beatles

Why it’s a crime: Seriously, no Beatles anywhere? How can you say you cover make claim to covering the breadth of rockdom without even doing an “as made famous by” or “in the style of”. And don’t tell me it’s too old school. There’s a goddamned Monkees song on the downloadables. Don’t get me wrong, I like the Monkees, but they were famous for making fun of the Beatles.