Top 5 Reasons Homer Simpson Is Probably Not as Retarded as You Think He Is.

Raptor Here with an abbreviated jury duty list.

Yea, I know he’s done an incredible amount of stupid things in his near 20 years on TV, but for every jump into Springfield Gorge,Homer Simpson a strange moment of brilliance that makes one think, “Maybe this guy isn’t absolutely retarded, he just chooses to be blithely unaware.”

Maybe I'm just grasping at straws, but I think he could be faking it.

5. This Quote: "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”-

Now it might sound like he’s just lazy, but really it’s to avoid the embarrassment and shame that comes along with failure. This takes a certain level of cognitive reasoning to arrive at this conclusion.

Now maybe Homer doesn’t know who Thomas Gray is, but I think he has a greater understanding of his little aphorism than anyone else in history. And, yes I mean you Peter Griffin, you aren’t unaware you are just retarded.

4. When he does try he has fairly high levels of success-

There are plenty of examples of this. When he worked as Hank Scorpio's head of the Nuclear Power Division his division was way ahead of the weather machine and germ warfare departments (You Only Move Twice). He managed to start an elaborate booze smuggling ring when the town banned alcohol (Homer Vs, the 18th Amendment). He even stared down Mr. Burns to win back the union's dental plan (Last Exit to Spring Field).

3. He has innate musical talents.

There has been a connection made between people who develop musical abilities and improved intelligence. Homer has demonstrated on a number of occasions the ability to whip up thought out hit songs for the B Sharps (Homer's Barbershop Quartet), or little ditties for his daughter Lisa (The President Wore Pearls). He's even come up with songs on the fly (Two Bad Neighbors).


2. He has moments of incredible clarity-

Let's start small. When he's watching Marge in the musical version of Street Car Named Desire, he makes the connection between how Stanley treats Stella and how he has treated Marge (Street Car Named Marge). To make this mental leap between representation and reality, takes a cognitive ability well above retardation.

He has also displayed a high degree of mathematical problem solving when he decoded the secret messages his mom was leaving him in newspaper articles (My Mother The Carjacker).

1. He hates the Denver Broncos.

If you don't agree, you don't know anything about football.