Top 5 numbers:The Rebuttal

Raptor here.

Before I post any other Top 5 list, I must take McBane to task. We have had fights about numbers. Plenty of them. My fists Truth and Reason are normally fair and just teachers, but they will have to be more firm disciplinarians on this matter.

Lets face it folks, with most of these other lists it comes down to personal taste and opinion. But numbers are different. Numbers are fact. If we can’t get truth from numbers than what are we left with. Un-numerated anarchy.

The true placeholder for the number one number IS i.

Let me explain. Numbers by there very nature exist in a world of rules. First and foremost they should exist. If you have 2 apples and I give you 2 more you have 4 apples. Things get slightly more fucked up when you throw in the idea of negative numbers. Negative numbers were created to be place holders in the balance sheets or graphs. They are for all intents and purposes made up. What’s less than zero? In a true numeric universe, nothing. In the strange universe we live in you get negative numbers.

Negative numbers are the alternate universe of real numbers, their opposite in every way. Consider -1 to be 1 with a goatee. The negative universe is a fucked up place where numbers eat with their butts and poop out their mouths. When you add negative numbers together you are really subtracting, and vice versa. Down is up, dogs play with cats, lambs eating lions. What happens when you multiply -3 x-4? You get positive 12. Yep, 2 negatives equal a positive. This proves problematic especially when you try and find square roots. Square root of 1 is 1. But what times what is -1? That’s where i comes in.

i is the tesserect of the number line. It’s a made up concept to explain a made concept. And if there is anything that I’ve learned from the political crisis, on all ends of the spectrum, of the past 12 years there is nothing more powerful than that.

So in conclusion, McBane’s numbers list should have looked something like this….

5. pi

4. 00

3. IV (if there was no Rocky IV the Soviet Union would have never fallen)

2. 23

1. i

and you can take that to the lake.

I'll post a new list later today.