Top 5 Reasons This Top 5 List is Late

McBane here. Finally.

5) It’s an Easy Gimmick

By picking this topic I already gave myself a prefabricated reason; this meant I only needed to come up with four legitimate reasons.

4) I Couldn’t Come Up With Four Legitimate Reasons

Technically a bit of an exaggeration, because otherwise this list would stop here, but it does account for the tardiness.

3) I Was Pretending I Was Struggling to Make My Deadline When I Really Just Had Other Things I Wanted to Do

Why was I pretending? Because indifference is not forgivable; luckily, stupidity is.

2) I’m Too Stupid to Come Up With Two Legitimate Reasons

Now forgive me.

1) I Couldn’t Think of a More Unsatisfying Topic in Time

Quality control means a lot to me; I’m not happy until you’re not happy.

Luckily I think we've reached that point already.