Disciples of Rob Fleming: Top 5 Ways to Know You're Dating A D-Bag

Raptor here with a list for the ladies.

Have you ever come back from a date and thought to yourself, “ Well that was kinda of fun, but was that a man or a giant Summer’s Eve in man’s clothing?”
I know sometimes it can be hard to tell so here’s a quick checklist. If any of these are checked off buyer beware.

5. He wears wifebeaters as actual clothes-

Wife beaters as an undershirt=OK! Wife beaters as a top? No

There are a grand total of 2 people in the world that can pull this off and not come off looking like a douche bag, and even then they are douche bags.

Not one of the two

4. He wears his hat askew-

Scientific fact: As demonstrated in the graphic above, the distance the center of a hat’s brim breaks from the sagital plane is directly correlated to the greater level of douche baggery a person is capable of. Anthropologists believe this is how douche bags communicate their rank in the community.

Peasant

Knight

Once and Future King

3. He snaps picture of himself posing in the bathroom mirror and posts them on his Myspace page

Some people might go automatically from him just having a myspace page. I’m a little more lenient. He may have self taken pics of him and some friends. That’s ok. He may have some self taken pics of himself chilling around the house. Yellow light. However, if there are pictures of him doing a pose in his bathroom immediately report them to the local authorities.

D-bag and probably a future child molester.

2.His favorite band is Dave Matthews band, and He refers to him as Dave-

This is important. In the time preceding this revelation, did he order you a drink? Did he just pay for it with a funnily folded bill? If so you are in danger of el roofie colada.