Top 5 Kinds of People Who Piss Me Off

Raptor here, puttin’ the lotion on it’s skin, lest he get’s the hose again.

People in general are all right, until you get them all banded together making stupid and irrational decisions.

5. Hippies
It always amazes me the amount of sway on youth culture the hippy movement has. I mean sure they usually have pretty good weed and there’s always that cute girl who never wears a bra and wears the floral patterns, but trust me you don’t want to see these things combined 20 years in the future. Those free flowin tits will be free fallin. Plus they really seem to enjoy sitting around all day and complaining about the man, or corporations, or the environment, or how they never noticed all the ridges in the back of their hands. And really, do you want to get your political commentary from some guy in a sash who can’t seem to figure out how to open a box of soap?

4. Protestors
These people seem to go against everything I stand for: apathy. Also they managed to keep Kissinger from coming to UT and giving a lecture that I was totally jazzed to go to.

My main beef with them isn’t there protests, it’s the way they poorly handle the abuse that comes along. Protesting has gotten a lot of good things done, like suffraging women, equal rights…. I’m cool with you using your right to gather and free speech, but typically things get out of hand. Typical scenario:

Gather a large group of people through web sites, chat rooms and emails. I mean A LOT of people. Said people are usually excitable people in nature (i.e. the kind who attend protests). Police gather to make sure things stay in check (And really when there’s a gathering of 1000+ it would be highly unwise not to have a Police presence). Excitable people get more excitable and start harassing members of the party being protested and police officers by throwing eggs, food, and rocks. Police officers clear streets with gas, and/or rubber bullets. Protestors complain that they were abused by police officers during there “peaceful” protest.

Really guys, you got it good. Ask the Palestinians how well the Isreali Police force responds to having rocks thrown at them by protestors.


3. Celebrity Environmentalists
Look I know being hooked on oil sucks. But you know what your goddamn Hummer runs off of? That private jet you used to fly from 2 continents for Live Earth, you know how many carbon credits that requires? Do you know how stupid the idea of carbon credits are? Before you come after me with your climate crisis, fucking read a few science books.

2. Film Majors
These guys are dicks. No exceptions. Don’t talk to me about the beauty of the cinematography. Give me explosions, tits, and comedic kicks to the groin!

1. Evangelicals/Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Really, I hate anyone who thinks that there is no possibility that they could be wrong ( except of course me, because I’m always right damn it!). But this debate is fucking tiresome. Really there’s no way to prove whether either side is right until your dead and have no choice but to find out. So really in the mean time, it’s nothing but a bunch of baiting and antagonizing the other side about an improvable point.